This is not some clever turn of phrase.
Friday night, after the baseball game, I grabbed some dinner and went to stay at the cabin. Friday both Asimov's and Analog came in the mail. That's the first time I can recall they both arrived on the same day.
I was eating dinner and reading the magazines when, at about 10 p.m., I pulled out the sleeper sofa. There was a rattlesnake curled up inside! Needless to say, I took off fast. I didn't even take my hat.
I went into Malakoff and rented a motel room. The next morning I went back in broad daylight. I saw why the snake had come in the cabin - he was molting. But the bastard was behind the sofa. He must have been three feet long - and no rattles. Probably was going to grow up to be the size of a boa constrictor.
A neighbor came over to visit with me and he was nice enough to dispose of the snake with a hoe I had. Dropped his corpse in a trash barrel. I also threw in the shed skin the snake had left behind.
I saw that a board has warped and pulled away from the wall behind the sofa, which is how the snake got in. I nailed that down firm and tight.
Otherwise, I did the things I had planned to do - dropped off boxes of books and other stuff I wanted to store, and I sawed down some branches which had been rubbing against the roof and causing leaks. Nailed up some asphalt shingles to patch the leaks. I bought a 20-foot aluminum ladder just for that job (the cabin is two stories). Worked like a charm, though. I left the ladder at the cabin.
It's raining today, so I got the patch up job on the roof done just in time. The cabin's already suffered some water damage, but this should halt the deterioration.
The 2nd baseball game was 2 p.m. Saturday. We won, so we advance in the playoffs. Got a spectacular photo of when the players doused the coach with the ice water. I got the shot just as the cylinder of water hit the coach.
Drove home, washed up, watched "The Incredibles" with wife on DirectTV. Ah, civilization! Laughed my butt off.
Got the book proposal in the mail Friday before I left town. Otherwise, no submissions or rejections in the past few days. Bought some IRCs at the post office Friday for foreign submissions, and stocked up on stamps.
Off to see the mom-in-law.