Better safe than sorry

I may sound like a wimp for turning around and skipping Contraflow when the low pressure indicator went on in my rental car Saturday morning, but some of you may recall that in the summer of 2009 I ignored some warning signs and pressed on driving from East Texas to Oklahoma City for SoonerCon and I blew my transmission.

I was stranded seven miles south of Henryetta, Oklahoma. I forgot to take my cell phone, and so I couldn't call for help. I found that that these days, because everyone has a cell phone, no one would stop and see if I needed help. After an hour a state trooper came by. By the time I was towed into Henryetta, it was past 5 p.m. and my car couldn't be fixed until Monday. Michael Moe was nice enough to drive out to Henryetta Saturday morning and bring me the rest of the way. On Sunday, Gorg Huff drove me and dropped me off in Dallas, where my mother-in-law lived.

I went back to Henryetta in October so sell the car for salvage. It was Columbus Day - which is a state holiday in Oklahoma but not Texas - and I couldn't transfer the title, so I gave it to the purchaser and told him he could send me the $100 when he got clear title. He actually did.

With all this in mind Saturday morning, I was very uncomfortable driving farther and father from home at like 4 a.m. with a warning light staring at me. Also, I had never driven from East Texas to New Orleans before, and I am completely unfamiliar with the route. Call me a chicken, I felt a lot better when I reached home.

Praise for "Music for Four Hands"

Shedrick Pittman-Hassert at his web site "Serial Distractions" has posted the following review of "Music for Four Hands":

Review: Music for Four Hands by Lou Antonelli and Edward Morris
Posted on November 5, 2011 by Shedrick

(I’ve been following Lou Antonelli’s career for the past couple of years now. He’s a frequent panelist at the various sci-fi cons that I get to attend in the area and always presents an interesting view of the business. His stories are unabashedly old-school and are usually interesting takes on alternate history set in the weirds and wilds of East Texas. In the chapbook Music For Four Hands, Antonelli teams with 2009 Rhysling award nominee Edward Morris on four intriguing science fiction tales set in alternate times, alternate worlds, and in our own backyard.

The collection opens with a piece that serves as an opening curtain on the show called, aptly, “The Scene is Set”. It is very evocative of the sights and smells of a dark carnival (ala Something Wicked This Way Comes). In hindsight, it doesn’t really gel with the tone of the more full-blown stories in the collection. Nevertheless, it is a gem in and of itself.

The first tale, “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”, takes on an alternate history in which the late, under-appreciated comic Ernie Kovacs does not die in an automobile accident (while trying to light a cigar) in 1962 and how this fact affects the smoking industry and the unlikely livelihood of another historical figure. The story does a great job of invoking the time period and Kovac’s wit. The extrapolations from the pivotal event are interesting and unexpected. However the end comes rather abruptly and ultimately leaves it being the least satisfying of the four stories in the collection.

“Off the Hook” is another story involving a comedian who encounters something from the unknown. Jimmy Slade is a successful but cynical older comic who never really recovered from the early death of his talented former partner, Danny Deuce. After meeting a “Stranger” who could be Death himself literally knocking at his door, Slade makes a Faustian bargain to give Danny a second chance. A fine fantasy with a lot of heart.

“Acroscaphe” is a delightful story about first contact–and about how self-interest can literally (and figuratively) muddy the waters of cross-cultural understanding. It reads a bit like a drive-in movie directed by George Pal; a lot of fun and it’s central premise does a good job of capsizing your expectations.

The final story, “Stairway to Heaven”, is probably my favorite in the collection. A miserable small town newspaper editor in conservative East Texas meets a beautiful hippie chick who’s been missing since 1971. After several increasingly tense encounters, she gives him a chance to see how the other half lives. Sparkling dialog helps to make the characters pop from the page; it feels as if the authors had a lot of fun with this one and it translates well to the reader. The ending is satisfying and even a little wistful. A very strong finish to a good collection.

Music for Four Hands is a fine collection of original and entertaining tales. This a great book for whiling away a sunny afternoon. These are the kind of stories that brought me into science fiction as a kid–they not only make you think a little bit but, even more importantly, inspire you to daydream.

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Very good review, and more importantly in my opinion, Shedrick "gets it" as far as where the stories are coming from, and where I'm coming from personally in my fiction.

Car returned

I don't know how seriously I should have taken that low tire pressure light, but really, at 4 a.m. in the dead of deepest, darkest, East Texas, I wasn't willing to take a chance.

The rental agency is not going to charge me anything, actually they would owe me money, since I gave them back a half tank of gas more than they gave me.

Hopefully, this will make them think to check cars better before sending them out. Unfortunately, there's only one car rental agency here.

Regrets to Contraflow

I had to shoot off this email this morning to Ray Boudreau and the folks at Contraflow:

Ray -

I'm terribly sorry, I have to beg out. My rental car developed a problem at 3:30 a.m. this morning that made me turn around and head home rather than break down in the middle of nowhere. There are long stretches of nothing between East Texas and New Orleans, and I was afraid of getting stranded.

I really appreciate the invite, and I'm sorry it didn't work out. but I've had some terrible experiences in the past with problems developing when I traveled out of town to conventions and I've turned into a big chicken.

Please keep me in mind for the future. I hope everything goes well this weekend.

Lou Antonelli

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The problem was a warning light came on about the tire pressure, and I mean it when I say there are long stretches of absolute nothingness between here and New Orleans. I had no tire pressure gauge, and no way to air up any tires. If there was a flat, I can't change the tire (because of carpal tunnel syndrome). In the end the decision to turn around was made because, 1) My blood pressure was soaring over the nervousness and aggravation, and 2) my blood pressure is also soaring because I am irate at Enterprise Rent-a-Car. I rent cars to travel for peace of mind, and having a panic attack at 3:30 a.m. in Bigfoot Fart, East Texas, is not peace of mind. I didn't quite make it to the Louisiana state line before I tossed in the towel and turned around.

Oh, I guess I'm showing my age, but I can remember when you could look at a car tire and tell if it was getting low. In this case, the tires are so shallow that they look pre-flattened to me.

Then again, that may be why they have pressure indicators on the cars now.

Off to the slush pile

I took the flash I typed on the Sunday of FenCon, "Wet and Wild", and run it through OCR software so I could make a Word file of it. I might have subbed it as is - the way "The Stinky Men" is circulating (and Chris Garcia has "The Quantum Gunman" for Drink Tank) - but honestly the ribbon was getting too faint (it was the ribbon on the typewriter when I bought it, so God knows how old it was).

It's only 520 words. I sent it to Gordon at F&SF, since he looks at stuff and returns it quickly if he doesn't want it. I DID type the cover letter - since I've bought a new ribbon.

I expect I'll type a story while at Contraflow, too. Since my reading is the last thing I do, maybe I'll try what I did at ArmadilloCon and type an original story for the reading.

Ready to Contraflow

I will be in greater New Orleans Saturday and Sunday for Contraflow. Here are my panels:

Saturday 11 a.m. - How to Promote Yourself Online: So now that you are published how do you sell that work? Guests Lou Antonelli, Rob Cerio and Jeannie Holmes talk about how to promote yourself online.

Saturday 4 p.m. - Ebooks - Is this the future of publishing?: Is this the future of publishing- It seems today many are making the switch from print to digital formats, is the future of publishing? Come discuss with authors and publishers Lou Antonelli, Allen Gilbreath, Kim Richardson, and Toni Weisskopf.

Sunday 11 a.m. - The Importance of Place in Science Fiction & Fantasy: Regional authors Kurt Amaker, Lou Antonelli, Andrew Fox and Jeannie Holmes discuss how using regional settings influences writing in science fiction and fantasy. All of these author's works are set in the southern region from Texas to Mississippi.

My reading will be Sunday at 2 p.m. Since I am taking my portable typewriter, maybe I'll do what I did at ArmadilloCon and read a story I typed (I wasn't scheduled with a reading at the last con I attended, Con DFW.)

"The Z Word"

I've been invited to submit an essay on my opinion of the sub genre of zombie writing for a book, with special emphasis on writers delving into the subject of zombies. Considering that "Good News for the Dead" is the only zombie story I've ever written, I'd say I fit that bill.

Part of the pitch was "I'm only asking a few, select authors that I admire and read (like yourself) before asking more authors."

Well, I'm flattered.

"The stated goal is to release a quality but cheaply priced (99 cent eBook, break-even pricing if we go to print) to get it out there and get people interested in seeing what authors have to say about the sub genre, and also as a way to introduce you to fans who might not know you yet or are new to reading about zombies."

I'm good with that. I am working on the essay, which can be up to 2.500 words, this week. I already have the title, obviously, that line from "Good News" about "the Z Word."